brandon chalk dot com

The Mission continues to be a cesspool of amazing things like: fixed gear orgies on CL, drunk people listening to Madonna at 4AM, web 2oh breeding grounds, hookers and needles. The only thing I haven’t seen in our new neighborhood are steaming piles of turds, which I am sure will eventually come. Lucky for me, I’ve already seen that at the Civic Center and Castro MUNI stops, otherwise known as public toilets.

In the past few months …

- I’ve seen a pimp running his block with Motorola walkie talkies. Next goal, crack the frequency and start screaming “HOE DOWN! HOE DOWN! SEND BACKUP!”

- I’ve seen a deal go down on the street for FAKE SOCIAL SECURITY CARDS. Mind you, drugs are prevalent but hawking Social Security cards in broad daylight is the shit. That is like the Maserati of street dealing in the Mission. Throw some d’s on it street hustler!

- I’ve heard “Haaaaaaaayyy!” turned around, got really scared, parked the car and immediately walked inside. I wasn’t feeling thick girls that night.

- I’ve learned that a local restaurant was busted for being a safehouse for drugs. Go figure. Good thing the taco truck scored higher than my favorite Thai restaurant during health inspections.

Despite the rampant progress of gentrification of the Mission and dot com trash gaining a foothold (myself included), the Mission still proves to be a never ending sensory explosion complete with the scent of bacon hotdogs cooking on the sidewalk. Fake Social Security cards … come on, I haven’t even seen that shit go down in the Loin. Just people hiding drugs in a plant at a bar, natch.

at a fashion show in the tenderloin. i feel like i am in a street style blog war without any ammo. where is my devandervar and css possie?

boy with track bike tattoo at 16th and mission - w4m - 25 (mission district)
Date: 2007-07-23, 11:50PM PDT

i totally caught you ogling my track bike (the love of my life!) as i was leaving the bart station last night. you have a bike tattoo; i have a bike tattoo. let’s go for a ride?

What would I do for content without Craigslist?

Last year we went to the 6th Annual Bring Your Own Big Wheel Race. There was maybe 150 people tops between the racers and spectators. This year, it was more like 150 people racing and a thousand or so watching. So it would be an understatement to say it was madness. Thank you blogosphere for making it complete insanity!

After toying with the idea for a solid 11 months, we decided to assemble the troops as Team Mario Kart. Three Mario’s (one raccoon Mario), a Luigi and a Donkey Kong later, we were ready to go.

Pictures from Team Mario Kart Photographers (inline pictures after the jump)
Jeff’s, aka Luigi, Pictures
Marc’s pictures
Jeff’s pictures

Pictures/Videos from other sources
Flickr BYOBW Photo Pool
Laughing Squid photo roundup HUGE!
Youtube Videos

Team Mario Kart with Donkey Kong getting suited up! Credit: Chuck Biscuito

PURE MADNESS!! Credit: Stéphane Delbecque

More (really awesome) pictures and videos inline after the jump!

Update 1: I added more pictures to the bottom of the post. I’ll keep adding them as I find them.

Update 2: More pictures! Click through and scroll to the bottom.

Read the rest of this entry »

The preparations have begun for the seventh annual Bring Your Own Big Wheel race.

Big wheels + adults riding them + most crooked street in the world (Lombard) = AWESOME!

After hearing about the race the night before last year, I decided I needed to put my luck to the test this year. Taking pictures was fun but the real thrill would be racing. A simple conversation mentioning big wheels and Lombard Street were all that was needed to convince a few lucky souls that Team Mario Kart needed to represent.

Raccoon Mario representing Team Mario Kart!

When: Sunday, April 8th 2007
Where: Lombard Street, San Francisco

More Pictures!!

Four of the five whips.

Leave me to build your big wheel and I’ll “pimp your ride,” NKOTB edition. Much better than the crappy warning sticker that was there.

Honestly, I am never anywhere near Pacific Heights. There are many reasons why this is the case.

1) Far from where I live
2) Hills, which aren’t fun walking up
3) I don’t own a BMW or rock pink Lacoste shirts

But despite these reasons, we decided to venture into the abyss doing as “U Street,” or Union Street to us “foreign” folk living in the “wild” Mission. The two bars we went to were somewhat a reincarnation of Orange County in San Francisco. I never thought it would be happen. However, when people bump into you and say “Sorry bro” or take a leak and not wash their hands, my formative years as a teenager come roaring back. And yes, it might have scared me a bit. But that’s not to say fun things don’t happen up in Pacific Heights.

Enter the Dodge Magnum.

Right off the bat, that was this guy’s mistake. He was driving a Dodge Magnum, which pretty much is some new age stagecoach looking shit the Donner Party would rock for treacherous journeys if they were still here today. After he pulls in front of a fire hydrant, we begin to ask questions. What is he thinking? Why is he listening to 92.7 so loud at 2AM? Who would actually purchase a Magnum?

And then he approaches our car …

The guy could have passed as a mob member without a doubt. Lucky for us, we didn’t hear a fist banging against the drivers’ side mirror or anything else out of the norm. That was until we walked over to the stack of milk crates outside the convenience store and took a milk crate. It brought a tear to my eyes to see someone driving a ~30k car straight jack a milk crate at 2 AM. I know the mob can be rough but come on.

PEOPLE NEED THEIR MILK!

And shortly after, we start hearing “Fuck you bitch!” as we are driving down South Van Ness. Obviously the night wouldn’t be complete without some crazy guy leaning his head out the window shouting obscenities at the driver, who was presumably his girlfriend. In any case, he was drunk AND crazy AND shouting crazy stuff out his window as I returned home to the “urban slums.”

I am sorry Pac Heights. You still suck but you always make me laugh.

If anything, 2007 has already set itself up to be the year of traveling. So far I have:

- been in three different states
- attended a book opening party for Fine Waters: A Connoisseur’s Guide to Bottled Water (which was ridiculous)
- been in three different countries
- spent more than a day in four different time zones
- traveled 10,5987 miles (17,054 km) and I still have about another 7,000 miles (11,265 km)
- Visited Canada for the first time, visited HOTlanta for the first time, Dublin for the second time and returned to Copenhagen, home of Amager Kebaben (og gadedansk), for a short vacation which is of course, ending too soon
- only been in my new apartment for three consecutive weeks

So yes, I have been traveling quiet a bit. I never thought my job would entail so much traveling but when you tell your manager the second week on the job, “Hey, I keep my passport at my desk. Just give me a days notice and I am game,” things like this happen. Traveling is cool and all but I always miss my bed and my awesome screen saver on my computer. Falling asleep to a chicken rotisserie is priceless. And let’s not forget the popcorn maker and smelling salts (Big ups Cody!).

Eventually (March 18th), I will be back in San Francisco eating delicious pollo asada (thank you Shane) tacos from the taco truck and climbing the walls at Mission Cliffs. But until then, I can only keep adding more miles to my running tally and dreaming of the sweet nectar that my first burrito in March will have.

Horchata, where you at?

I am off to Denmark tomorrow.

Hooray!

Saying as I’ve been in Dublin the last two weeks for work, I figured a short vacation was in order before I head to New York for two and a half weeks.

So if you happen to be in Copenhagen between Friday and Tuesday, let me know.

UPDATE: Negatory. I am flying into Denmark on Saturday if the snowstorm lets up. Stupid, stupid snow!

My pictures from Vancouver are now on Flickr. Half of them are public and the other half aren’t. If you aren’t my friend on Flickr, then contact me and I’ll add you or give you the Guest Pass URL. Like usual, I only uploaded about 5% of the shots I took since most sucked. So revel in the fact that you get to see pictures that aren’t total garbage.

More pictures!

There was snow in Denmark, but I was usually on my bike so it was no big deal. In Vancouver, there apparently isn’t an infrastructure in place to remove snow since it rarely happens. Therefore when it does, the sidewalks turn to slush and your feet become ice cubes.

It sucks.

My skate shoes were fine in Denmark since they sweeped the sidewalks and made things a bit easier for pedestrians. In Vancouver, they want to make my vacation as hard as possible. But choosing to visit Vancouver for New Year’s is my fault. Whatever, I beat the odds today and stole my friends rain boots to rock out when I was downtown. And just like the Danes, I rocked them like they were a fashion accessory. Fashionistas, where you at? No seriously, I rocked those things like limited edition Nikes playboy.

Then came the sneaker shopping.

I was feeling good. So far, I have stayed true to my goal of buying a pair of sneakers in every new city I visit.

Then comes the baller budget*, thank you Cody.

< Trying on gold chains in a clothing store >
“So which one are we taking home amigo?”
“Both. I gotta do it big in Vancouver playboy.”

The baller budget is all about being over the top. Vancouver, you feelin’ me? Thank you for making this kid smile and Cody laugh (in the future).

* Compliments of Cody and splitting his hiring bonus with me. The only condition is that I spend it on things I would not normally buy. So far: five fair trade Mexican wrestling masks, a remote control helicopter and two gold chains. All Cody approved.